Intentional Parenting

As a mother of three girls, ages 11 to 18, and as a teacher of children for 20 years, 6th grade through 12th grade, I have met a lot of parents. Many have made great impressions on me. Some have been positive and others, negative. Regardless, I have learned from and reflected on how they interact with their children. One idea that keeps coming to mind is intentional parenting. A colleague of mine actually said that he admired Tim and me because we are intentional parents. I had never even thought of that idea in those terms until he said that. But it has stuck with me. I didn't tell him but I feel like he and his wife are also intentional parents. Maybe I should tell him. Tim and I have made lots of mistakes as parents, but just reflecting on the relationships we have with our girls now, I think we have happened upon something that worked too. I do admit, however, that we have spent many many hours over the years praying for our children and for ourselves as we try to raise them as God would want us to. I'm sure other parents along the way have thought we were to strict (we didn't let our girls wear bikinis), too flexible (we didn't really ever have strict bed times). But our ultimate goal was to teach the girls that they were precious to God and to us. Tim and I have always understood that our girls are really His and we are grateful that He has entrusted us with their care.
I love listening to other parents and watching how they interact with their children. Just recently a parent of two of my students offered to come help with a project at school I was working on. She also brought the two boys to help. Her words to them were that they were a part of this project and they needed to put in the time to see it succeed. They obviously have heard this before and they were eager to help. That is a life style for them. I admire that.
Intentional parenting can be tedious, unpopular, draining.....it means not giving in to what is easy. It means not believing lies such as "all sisters fight," "teenagers rebel," "kids can't wait to get out of the house when they graduate." Building relationships takes time and effort. It takes being intentional about doing what is right.

Why is it that humans are always looking for something beyond what they have? Kids can't wait til school is out for the summer, then they can't wait to start again in the fall to see their friends again (because they were bored after 3 days of summer vacation). Seniors can't wait to graduate. Grown-ups can't wait for Friday afternoon. Why do we spend so much time looking forward to whatever is next? Why don't we just enjoy what's happening right now, at this very moment? We would be happier and more content if we could just stop and enjoy the present, and not worry about what's next as if it's going to better than where we are at the moment. Now, it's not bad to look forward to vacations, or a big game, or a party. But discontent grows in us when we are just feeling like we're muddling through the present, putting all our hopes into something that we think will make us happy.

In Psalm 34 David says, "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." I love the word continually. It doesn't say that His praise will be in my mouth when things are happy....it says continually. That means when I'm happy, bored, stressed, content, discontent....continually. That's hard!! But isn't it a great idea!

Tim and I have adopted Hosea 10:12 as our verse for 2011. It says "Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground (that's my favorite part), for it is time to seek the Lord, til He comes and rains righteousness on you." Wouldn't we all like Him to rain some righteousness down on us? He does. Every day. Spend time with Him and let Him rain on you through His word and through prayer.